Wednesday, February 25, 2009

I rather dislike having me felt like an emo persona today. So I'll start fresh and.. I won't hover over this.. I will end up anyways. Something has been bothering me. I know that no one ever accepts people very easily unless they try. I don't want to change myself and I not longer want to hurt myself either. Chances are that I am destroying myself everyday. I hunt down my emotional side in a dark swamp - swallowed forest. I am being hunted by my own self. Through the tears she seeks some kind of clarity that others wouldn't understand. It seems complicated.. To understand.. It is to learn the meaning behind the words, the hurt, and the emotions. No one is ever so careful to how others feel. They always trample because of their own selfish desires and obliviousness. So I am either alone or seek others who I've been ignoring that have already given me joy nonetheless.. Or is it like vicodin? Any kind of painkiller.. To kill the loneliness and love the laughter and tears and emotions.. That is what I wish for myself. The happiness that over floods and no longer constricts or suffocates nonetheless. I need to let go. He has always told me to let go. To encourage myself.. Is it only myself that needs to believe that small voice..?

Posted by JULIET @ 4:44 PM :: (0) comments

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I finally got croissant, and I payed Linda back money for it. The thing is that maybe I should call Phil beforehand. Call Phil, refill my water.. Bring bio book on Friday... (love)

The things I want/need currently are..

Jansport backPack,GuildWars (other factions games), croissant, pizza, converse, City of Glass, and etc.


Posted by JULIET @ 7:39 PM :: (0) comments

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Posted by JULIET @ 3:57 PM :: (0) comments

Feelings must make you run away or is it the fear?
It's a naked prospect of yourself
A vulnerable fierce physical weakness
Torturous guilt and yet another comes along
Out of sight and unseen
It's pressure building up to the pulsing
Chaotic heart and moans
To long and desire for something that is unreal
Yet is realistic and no longer imaginary
See it for yourself
The scars on your body were meant
For only my eyes only
We are synonyms of the soul
Untouched and uncontrolled
We plan and act together secretly
Because we were meant to be by the sky
We suffer from lunacy (insanity)
By the intensity of the moon gradually changing
From a first quarter to a full moon
An uncompleted soul

Posted by JULIET @ 12:58 PM :: (0) comments



I like to eat ham&cheese croissants, eggs, and dndin noodles (thai noodles).

Posted by JULIET @ 12:45 PM :: (0) comments

I understand that it is the least enjoyable part of our relationship. Whenever I fantasize.. It doesn't include that lonely unlikeable feeling after wards. I am happy we have a connection when it comes to pleasure though. It is something new and nothing I have ever ever experienced before. I really miss you and when I close my eyes.. It's just your face and how much I love you to the deepest core of my being. Sometimes I even resist that idea/image, but it is there nonetheless. It makes me cry. I wish I could make it so then that we wouldn't have to feel that way anymore. I mean.. To not feel that unlikeable sad/lonely feeling. I want to hug and kiss you without the worry of feeling that way again. I want to try. Try to not feel that sad.. lonely.. unlikeable.. Just a connection that bursts with joy. Desire is a complication in this world.

Posted by JULIET @ 11:40 AM :: (0) comments