Wednesday, February 25, 2009
I rather dislike having me felt like an emo persona today. So I'll start fresh and.. I won't hover over this.. I will end up anyways. Something has been bothering me. I know that no one ever accepts people very easily unless they try. I don't want to change myself and I not longer want to hurt myself either. Chances are that I am destroying myself everyday. I hunt down my emotional side in a dark swamp - swallowed forest. I am being hunted by my own self. Through the tears she seeks some kind of clarity that others wouldn't understand. It seems complicated.. To understand.. It is to learn the meaning behind the words, the hurt, and the emotions. No one is ever so careful to how others feel. They always trample because of their own selfish desires and obliviousness. So I am either alone or seek others who I've been ignoring that have already given me joy nonetheless.. Or is it like vicodin? Any kind of painkiller.. To kill the loneliness and love the laughter and tears and emotions.. That is what I wish for myself. The happiness that over floods and no longer constricts or suffocates nonetheless. I need to let go. He has always told me to let go. To encourage myself.. Is it only myself that needs to believe that small voice..?
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